My Mom passed away Sunday evening. While I am deeply saddened I am also relieved she is finally free of her traitorous body. The last time I saw her I read recognition in her eyes, something I had not seen in over a year. She tried desperately to communicate with me, and all she was capable of doing was raising her shaking hand and shedding some tears.
My Mom is responsible for my start in my animal filled life. We always had dogs, cats and birds in our home. She made every effort for me to be able to ride the horses that I dreamed of having in my life and tolerated the various lizards, snakes and amphibians that I insisted live in my bedroom.
I will try to only look back on all the wonderful trips we took together after I became an adult, to her place of birth and beginning life around the Boston area, as we explored Vermont, New Hampshire, Maine and ventured to unknown territory in Nova Scotia. I even surprised her and showed up in the Florida Keys while she was traveling by herself and we finished her trip together. We found wonderful places off the beaten path on Vancouver Island and the small islands off that coast. We explored Oahu and Texas, when she lived there, adventures too numerous to mention.
And finally to the Southwest, where I got an awakening of what her life was to become.
It was still an enjoyable trip, the most memorable point was going on a tour of the Hopi mesas. There was a wizened old Hopi woman, wrinkled and brown by the sun and time, sitting in front of her home that had no power or the luxuries that we have become accustomed to. This woman spied my mother and held out her hand. Mom walked over and took it and they had a private, special moment. The woman did not want to let go of my Mom's hand and my Mom found it extremely difficult to pull her hand away. "She said she wanted me to stay with her and keep her company" Mom said.
Loneliness is a harsh companion, and I feel the last couple of years that Mom was trapped in her Dementia ridden body she felt it was her constant companion.
One of my favorite poems, that I send to friends that are grieving, whether over family, friends or even our animal families is "Do Not Weep" by Mary Elizabeth Frye. I would like to end this post with it now......
- Do not stand at my grave and weep,
- I am not there, I do not sleep.
- I am in a thousand winds that blow,
- I am the softly falling snow.
- I am the gentle showers of rain,
- I am the fields of ripening grain.
- I am in the morning hush,
- I am in the graceful rush
- Of beautiful birds in circling flight,
- I am the starshine of the night.
- I am in the flowers that bloom,
- I am in a quiet room.
- I am in the birds that sing,
- I am in each lovely thing.
- Do not stand at my grave and cry,
- I am not there. I do not die.